Life goes on
by oldandgray
Summary: We never stop growing up as Emily finds out.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: the world never goes the way you want. This story is about growing up. It is a little dark and may not be for everyone. I understand that, but in the end it is for me. I have set this in the US, because I am a little more familiar with the systems in place. This is later in life in an alternate universe, and if I do it right the bits and pieces will be filled in as I go. But if you see a hole I missed let me know. This story will be from Emily's point of view, so some of the characters may look a little different; it is just her view of them. Let me know if it gets too far astray.**

 **I apologize up front, I should not start a multi chapter while I still have another in progress, but I needed to do this now.**

 **Skins may not be mine, but the grammatical and spelling errors are.**

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Another Friday afternoon, the work week done and all I really wanted to do was sit and stair at the wall. Just let it all be done for a while. No one asking me to make decisions, no one expecting me to be responsible. I hoped the most taxing thing I would face was finding something for dinner. I came in the front door and set down my coat and bag on the bench in the entry way. I looked down at the coat already occupying the bench, the shoes under it and knew Naomi had beat me home, again. Not that that was a big surprise, her commute was about ten minutes shorter then mine, and I had been stopped three times on the way out to answer questions I did not have the slightest idea about.

My shoes joined Naomi's under the bench and I headed towards the kitchen hoping dinner had already been solved. I entered he kitchen to find my lovely blonde wife standing in front of the stove a spoon in one hand and a glass of red in the other. She took one look at me and put down the spoon and handed me the glass.

"You look like Friday almost did not come soon enough."

I accepted the glass and after a swallow replied, "I am not sure if it did make it in time."

"Bad day?"

"Not so much bad as just stupid. The same dumb things over and over again. What's the quote about history? 'Those that fail to learn from it are doomed to repeat it.' Or something like that."

"The pasta will not be ready for another 20 minutes, go take a shower, you will feel better."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea. Sure you don't mind?" She just smiled and shooed me away.

I turned to leave and was stopped by the sound of her throat being cleared. I looked back as she asked, "Did you forget something?"

With what I hoped was a cute and disarming smile I turned back and pressed my lips to hers. As I pulled back she looked deep I to my eyes and said, "Okay, two things. That, and my wine," as she removed the glass from my hand. "I will have one waiting for you when you get back."

A hot shower, some soft warm clothes, and I was ready for dinner with my favorite person. I was almost to the kitchen when my phone started making noise in my bag. Against my better judgment I went over and dug it out to find I just missed a call from Katie. Living hundreds of miles a part for many years, we didn't talk as often as we did when we shared a room, but it had only been a few days so I was a little surprised. I took the phone with me into the kitchen, retrieved my promised glass of wine and sat down at the table to call her back.

I dialed the number and the phone rang almost once before she answered.

"Why can't you ever answer your phone when I call?"

"I called you right back. What's up Katie?"

"It's Mom. She's in the hospital."

"It's she okay?" The concern and stress in my voice was not helping either side of this conversation but it did get Naomi's attention.

"NO SHE NOT OKAY, SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL! I thought you were the smart twin." When she stopped yelling her voice had dissolved into tears. "I don't know what to do Em."

"Just take a breath and tell me what happened."

"She had an appointment to see her doctor yesterday, but was so tired she moved it to today. I was trying to help her out to the car when she collapsed in the front hall. I called the ambulance, I didn't know what else to do."

"Is she okay?" I was sounding like a broken record.

"SHE'S IN THE HOSPITAL EMILY! What do you think? What's the point, your not here you don't care. It's all on me to take care of her. Sorry to bother you nice little life."

The call dropped before I could respond. I just sat and looked at the phone in disbelief. Okay some of that might be deserved, but at the same time I knew she was scared and upset, and I hoped she didn't mean all of it.

Katie's dating life took a drastic turn after she found out she could not have kids. The life she had planed, a successful and well off power husband and two kids, was no longer an option. She stuck closer to mom and then dad was killed by the drunk driver while he was out jogging, events pushed them even closer. Naomi and I went to help mom, but we could only stay so long before jobs pulled us away. Mom started to built a new life. Katie moved back home. With James out on his own, and Naomi and I following jobs some 300 miles away, they were on their own. They depended on each other, and as much as they might get on the other nerves, they were family and the rest of us became extended family.

Mom had never fully accepted Naomi. She was tolerated, but even after 20 years, I think mom still hoped it was a phase I would grow out of. That just added to the separation and distance between us. We both tried, but not as hard as we should have. I had my life, with Naomi and she and Katie had theirs.

I just sat there and looked at the phone while all those thoughts and memories paraded through my head. Naomi rescued me from the spiral by sitting down at the table.

"Emily?" Her voice was soft and halting as if she feared disturbing my train of thought. "What's going on?"

"I'm not real sure. Katie said mom is in the hospital."

"Did she say what was wrong?"

"Not really, just that she collapsed, and some how because I am not there I don't care about either of them any way." I continued to look down at the traitorous phone. I got it a nice case and paid the bill every month and it brings shit like this. And worse I knew I needed to pick up the horrible device and try and call my sister back.

All I really wanted was to stare at the wall and have the world go away. At least for a while.

Naomi refilled my glass, I didn't remember drinking any of it, and turned the stove down to delay dinner. She gave me smile that let me know she would be there if I needed her, but for right now I was getting some space. She retreated from the room glass in hand. I looked back down at my nemesis, the phone, took another swallow of wine and readied myself to deal with Katie.

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 **A short intro. Is this a story line anyone would want to read? There might not be many butterflies or rainbows. Review and let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to all that read the first chapter and to those special persons that reviewed.**

 **Skins may not be mine, but the grammatical and spelling errors are.**

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I woke the phone from its slumber and keyed the contacts list. It might have been just a stalling tactic but I opened Katie's profile rather than just selecting the dial button. A much younger Katie looked back at me, with her hair done up in big curls and that awful prom dress. Okay maybe on her it was not so bad, but why did I let her make me wear a matching one? It still made my skin crawl. I touched the call button and picked up the phone. It rang about six or eight times and then went to voice mail. Well at least she is not blocking my calls.

"Katie, please talk to me. I need to know what's going on." I disconnected and sat it back down on the table. Resting my head in my hand I looked down at the device. It looked back unhelping.

"Now what?" I got no response from the cell, not that I really expected one.

I sat for a moment more. "Okay, plan B." A quick Google search and I entered a new number into the phone.

"Good evening Memorial Hospital. How may I help you?"

"I think my mother was admitted but I am not sure where to find her."

"One moment."

There was a few bars of some really bad hold muzak, and then…

"Hospital information how can I help you?"

They were all much too cheery. "I think my mother was admitted, and I am trying to find her."

"What was the name?"

"Her name is Jenna Fitch."

"And your name?"

"Emily Fitch."

"I'm sorry Miss Fitch I can not release any information to you."

"Why not? "

"Patent confidentiality. You are not on the list as someone we can release information to."

"Does that mean she is there?"

"Again I am sorry, I can't release that information."

"Thanks for not helping." I cut her off before she could say have a nice day.

I called Katie back, this time not stopping to look at her smiling picture. When the voice mail picked up it was not a happy message I left. "Katie, what is going on with mom? CALL ME BACK BITCH. I am worried. Love you. Love both of you. Call me, please?"

I put the phone down, finished my wine and went to look for Naomi. I found her on the couch in the front room, pretending to read. I sat down on the couch and laid down with my head in her lap.

"What did you find out?"

"Nothing. Katie is not answering her phone and the hospital is even less helpful then my sister. I am not on their list so they won't even tell me if she is there."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"Maybe in a bit. Right now I just want to hide for a while."

"As long as you are hiding with me and not from me."

"Never from you."

We stayed there like that for the longest time. I keep replaying the phone conversations in my head.

A some point I realized I was awake and that I had not been so a moment ago. Someone, Naomi, had pulled the blanket, that had been across the back of the couch around me. I looked up at her just as she noticed me string and looked down.

"Hello."

"How long was I asleep?"

"Not long, 45 minutes, an hour, something like that."

"I'm sorry. Your leg must be asleep, and I have ruined dinner."

"My leg is fine and I am sure dinner will be as well."

I let her up, and I could see the stiffness in her leg as she made her way to the kitchen.

I turned my face towards the back of the couch, pulled the blanket over my head and tried to hide from the world just a little longer. I quickly decided I was not accomplishing anything. The connection to sleep was passed and my mind was once again racing much to fast to recapture it. I got up to follow Naomi into the kitchen, and arrived just in time to see the pot full of pasta being thrown out.

"Extra hour of simmer time made the sauce even better. But I think we will start over on the noodles."

"Sorry about messing up dinner."

"It's not a problem Emily."

"It is, but I love you for trying to believe that it isn't. And for many other reasons."

Before she could respond my phone started ringing and trying to vibrate across the table. I looked down at it and the photo of Katie on the screen. I kind of wanted to let it go to voice mail just because, but I just couldn't do it. I really wanted to know what was going on.

"Hi Katie. See I do answer my phone."

"I'm a bitch now am I?"

"You always were. But that is not the subject of the moment. Talk to me about mom."

"She's getting old Emily."

"I know that," I might have snapped a little in responding.

"Do you? I mean really? When was the last time you came see her? When was the last time you called her?"

"Katie..."

"Don't 'Katie' me. I am here with her every day. I help her every day. And where are you?"

"We are three hundred miles away. We have jobs. We can't be there every day."

"I forgot. You and Naomi, are playing house. With your nice little lives." Her voice was now tear filled. "Maybe I want a life too."

The call ended, disconnected at the other end.

"Well that could have gone better." I sat the phone back on the table and looked at it trying to will Katie to call me back. And in a better mood as long as I was asking for wishes to be granted. It looked like I might have better luck hitting the lottery. I stood and moved over next to Naomi, "Anything I can help with?"

"Grab some plates and help me eat this, it's ready."

We sat down to a somewhat delayed dinner. I don't think the sauce was that much better for the extra time on the stove, not that I really tasted anything. I just kept thinking about Katie and my mom. She was right, she had been taking an active role in helping mom, and I was coasting along with just the occasional phone call.

"That's not fair Katie."

"The voice in your head just spilled into the room. What is not fair?"

"That she doesn't have life because she chooses to stay there with mom and we didn't."

"What?" The look of confusion on her face was amusing. "She thinks this is some how our fault?"

"No, I think she was just venting. But she may feel a little trapped. It is not like mom is going to grow up and move out. And the Katie Success Plan has not worked out so well."

"And that is our fault?"

"No."

"So what are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know." We sat and just looked at each other for few moments. I let my eyes drop down to my empty plate. "I guess I do feel a little guilty."

"Towards Katie?"

"No she made a choice and I'll bet got as much as she gave. I feel bad for how I have treated mom."

Naomi just looked at me waiting for more. "Well she is still my mom, and I have not been much help to her. Besides, you try living with Katie."

"Well... I did give you, what something over twenty years now. Maybe I should give the other twin a chance."

"You made your choice no do-overs."

"I guess you right. Besides I almost have you trained now."

I stuck out my tongue at her last remark.

"Careful I will take you and the tongue to bed."

The phone rang again, it was Katie. Her timing always did suck, and not in a good way.

"Hi Katie."

"Is the blonde there with you?"

"Yes."

"Put me on speaker. Your going to tell her what I say anyway."

I fiddled with the phone and then "Okay go ahead."

"Em I am tired. Mom is sick. I don't known how sick yet, but she will need help, and I can't do it any more."

"What do you want from me?"

"I don't know, but I need help with this."

"Okay Katie, lets see what the Doctors say before we try and plan anything. Besides we can't fix anything tonight."

"All right."

"Get some rest, we'll work on this tomorrow."

The call ended, Naomi rose and took my hand drawing me towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

"You are about to take your own advice and get some rest."

"But the dishes..."

"They can wait till morning. Come on."

I could not find a reason to argue.

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 **Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Skins may not be mine, but the grammatical and spelling errors are.**

Something woke me from a deep sleep. I looked at the clock and panicked that I was late until I realized it was Saturday. Finding I was safe I pulled the cover over my head in an attempt to hide from the invading sunlight. The warmth next to me drew me like a magnet, and I tried to get as close as I could and share the pillow with Naomi. The body rubbing up against her was encouraged by an arm that reached out and pulled me in, but sharing the pillow was not an option. She was not moving over. I pushed my back as close as I could and held onto the arm wrapped around me.

I closed my eyes and tried to be as still as I could, but slowly the phone calls from last night invaded the peace I found under the covers.

"Stop wiggling you'll wake me up."

"I'm not wiggling."

"Yes you are. What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"You know. You just don't want to talk about it yet. Go make the coffee while you think about it."

"So you can go back to sleep?"

She kissed the back of my neck. "You are way too smart, can't get anything past you."

I rolled over to face her, kissed her nose and then her lips. "Flattery might get you coffee in bed." The contented expression confirmed that I had been had, but the smile more then made up for it. I crawled out of bed and slipped on a robe to ward off the morning chill.

I put the coffee on and sat down at the table, watching as the steam rose and then rolled out from under the cabinet. I tried to think back to the percolator mom had when I has young and remember if it steamed the way this drip machine did. What kind of coffee maker did she have now? In the realm of things that was a stupid and pointless concern. But at the same time it was important, because that was how out of touch I was. I knew nothing about my own mother.

We lived 300 miles apart, but it could have as easily been 3000 or 300,000. I had always been closer to dad. Katie and mom had clicked, they found the same since of appearance important. I never cared that much about what the world thought, much like dad, it was the world's problem not mine. And Naomi had only made things worse between us. She had stopped telling me how mush she disapproved, but I still knew how she felt. A gay daughter was not the appearance she wanted. So even after the words stopped, there was still the feeling that she was waiting for me to get over the idea of having a girlfriend.

My phone shook me from my thoughts. I had dropped it into the pocket of my robe, and the ring almost made me jump off my chair. I only half looked at the picture as I accepted the call; I knew who it would be. "Hi Katie. How's mom?"

"She's about the same. The doctors are worried about her heart, and have a whole bunch of tests they want to run. They can't or won't tells us any more until they get the results."

"So how is she doing emotionally?"

"Why don't you call and ask her yourself?"

Katie's tone was a little too lofty for this early in morning and I found myself snapping back at her. "I would love to, but I was not put on the information release list. Stupid hospital won't even tell me if she is there."

"Oh yah. Sorry." Her tone was much softer and a little guilty. "They got hit with some big fines about a month ago for privacy violations."

"So...?"

"I will get you added, and I will text you her room and phone number."

"Thanks. Anything else?"

"No."

There was a long pause.

"Look Katie, we'll figure this out."

"I know, but I feel so helpless..." She paused like there was more, and then in almost a whisper, "and trapped."

"What do you mean trapped?"

"Just that. Trapped. By everything. You and Naomi don't have the... responsibility to her. It's not like I could just move out and leave her alone."

"So what, I am just suppose to quit my job and move in with her so you can do whatever? Do you even know what it is you want to do?" My tone had got a little angry, but she had caught me off guard. And it was not like mom had been taking advantage of her.

"No I don't know. I just want a life too." The last words had been a mix of anger, frustration and sadness. The call dropped before I could respond.

"Damn it Katie don't hang up on me again." I tried to call her back only to get her voicemail. I left the phone on the table where it would do less harm, poured two cups of coffee and took them with me back to bed.

I put the cups on the side table and sat on the edge of the bed, my feet on the floor and my back to sleeping form under the covers. I didn't think she was asleep so the voice behind me was not a surprise. "My guess is that was Katie you were talking to."

"How could you tell?"

"Who else would call this early on Saturday, and leave you in such a cheery mood?" I did not respond. Naomi sat up and leaned over for one of the cups. "Okay, what did she say?"

"Not much, they want to do some tests and will not tell us a lot until they get results back."

"Okay... why the pout?"

"Katie. She wants to be done being the responsible one. And every time I try and get her to talk about it she gets, well I guess guilty and stops talking. She has hung up on me more in the last two days then ever."

"So go see your mom and help Katie out."

"How am I suppose to do that."

"Just get in the car and go, that's how. You have what about three weeks of vacation built up, they will be fine without you for a week."

"You sound like you want me to leave."

She put the coffee down and pulled me back into the bed. "That Em is the last thing I want, but I also don't want you mad or regretting you didn't go. If she is really sick you need to go, and if you make Katie's life a little better, or worse as the case may be, more power to you."

"I thought you and Katie had finally gotten past that and liked each other."

"We have, but she is stressing my favorite Fitch twin and must be stopped. Now we need to get you ready for a 6 hour drive. But first..." Naomi rolled me to the side so we were facing each other and preceded to let me know in detail what I would be missing while I was away.

...

It is hard to describe just how isolated parts of this country feels. A small city at one end and a large town at the other. Six hours of roads between them; roads that even the best of drivers could only shave 20 or 30 minutes off the travel time. For five of those six hours there would be no cell service, so Katie couldn't call and hang up on me if she wanted to. Travel this road three or four times and it is really not that interesting any more. I had been over it many many more times than that so I was tired of the drive before it started. There is no passenger rail and only one bus each day. I guess you could fly, but the airport is more then two hours beyond the intended destination, so it could tale longer then driving and would defiantly cost much more. So that left me and the stack of snacks and cds Naomi had placed in the passenger seat.

Work had been understanding considering I called my boss on the weekend to beg next week off. It feels both good and bad to find you are not indispensable. Some how knowing that you can take a day off does not totally make up for the let down of discovering the world will go on just fine without you.

I won't describe the drive, you might have to make it some day and I don't want to spoil it for you. It is so weird coming back home. You can identify everything that has changed, even if you can't remember what has been removed. The hospital was one of the first things you passed as you entered town from this direction. Without even really considering the options I found myself parked in the visitor lot trying to convince the redhead staring back at me from the rear view mirror that going in was the best option.


End file.
